In 8 hours, I'll know..I may not know everything by then but at least I'll know what the plan is. I have absolutely no idea how I feel. I go back and forth between every emotion from scared because it's all happening, calm because I know stressing doesn't help, crying because it's too overwhelming, angry because why didn't they pick this up sooner and if they would have, what really would they have done, and then usually the cycle starts over. I'm packing my hospital bag just in case...the hospital is an hour away from home, I want to have what I want. I'm packing a sleeper and a onesie for him even though I know he'll swim in it.
I know he's not ready to come out...he's so tiny but I believe in my heart that if they have to take him it's because they can help him more outside than in and it's the best thing for him and I have to be honest, that's what hurts the most. He's my baby..he's supposed to be safest inside where Mother Nature is supposed to take over and make sure he grows right and Mother Nature failed me again...if we have to deliver him today, I have to trust a team of nurses and doctors(albeit, the best in the area at the best hospital for this type of thing) to take care of him.
I'm helpless...all I can do it pray and believe that he'll be taken care of...
4 Comments:
inside or outside, you're a great mother and that little boy will be loved and taken care of by you and vince. praying for good news. hang in there, love you!
I'll be thinking & praying for you guys and hoping for the best. Know that you are already such a GREAT Mom for worrying about him, fighting for him...and trying to do what's right for him. I know this journey isn't an easy one but keep looking up.
Thinking about you today and sorry that you have to go through yet another stressful situation. You are doing everything that you can do and are taking care of Baby Boy like the fabulous mom that you already are.
I hope everything goes well for you today...keep baking, little boy!! Many thoughts and prayers for you!
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