I don't know exactly why but I was dead-set on having a vaginal birth. For some reason, I thought it was like a right of passage..earning my stripes of motherhood by going through it all. By feeling every push and every contraction. But when the doctor told me they needed to get my baby out, I didn't care about any of it. I cared about him and I guess that's what earning your stripes of mother hood are. Caring about your baby more than you care about yourself or some crazy notion of what motherhood meant.
The Csection really wasn't bad at all. My anesthesiologist was great but he's not the one who did my spinal. A student did only I didn't know this was gonna happen until a needle was in my back and the anesthesiologist was showing him where to put it...try relaxing and breathing through that!! But the nurses were amazing which is another thing. Talk about caring..I was hugged and comforted more times in that 15 minutes by strangers than I have ever been and for someone who has a bubble and doesn't like strangers really getting too close, it was exactly what I needed. But student or not, he did a great job...at least I assume he did because about 2 minutes later, I was numb from about the rib cage down.
So, my doctor came in and said we were gonna start and I looked around and no Vinny!!! The doctor said he was pinching me really hard but I couldn't feel it so good to go! Still no Vinny!!! Then the doctor asked where he was and they realized they forgot to get him! Then I see him being thrown through the door.
**Now this part was told to me from Vinny** He was waiting in the room like the obedient husband/father than he is. They told him they'd be in in about 5 minutes to get him ready. So, when ten minutes had passed and no one got him, he poked his head out of the room just in time to hear a nurse say "Oh my God, I forgot to grab the dad!" so he sprinted down the hall to a nurse that was laughing and holding up a gown for him and then whipped him around and tied it and pushed him into the room where his wife was already getting cut.
It's the weirdest thing, I could feel them pushing around and yanking me around but no pain at all. Then I feel them pushing down on my stomach and everyone yells "Happy Birthday!" and my baby is shown to me over the curtain that they've put up so I can't see the beautiful disgusting bloody mess that I'm sure they've created on the other side. He looked soooo tiny and wasn't really doing much. The nurses yell and tell us he's doing good and just staring up at them. Then we hear him cry and that was the moment that my world flipped upside at least 15 times. His nurse told us that his APGAR was a 9 which was music to my ears!!! They handed him to Vinny for a few second and then took him to RICN since he was so early.
The pain the next day was pretty bad and I needed the pain meds around the clock but by the next day...I was extremely aware of the BIG side effect of pain meds which is that they prevent other things from happening if you know what I mean, so bye bye pain meds...I wasn't gonna take those suckers unless it felt like my stomach was being ripped in half! I like to be an optimal pooper ;-) But I also really didn't need them as much.
No staples though! YAY! They used sutures and glue and steristrips..they say this helps the scar. And I know from my experience working in OB that the staples always seemed to come loose or get twisted which caused so many problems taking them out so I was perfectly content to not have them.
And that was my csection story and the Lil Italian's entrance into the world.
wow, this post ended up being WAY longer than I planned. So, what I have learned through this pregnancy..
1. I didn't know I could love someone that much...first my husband...I loved him of course..I married him and was thrilled to have his child. But when I waiting in the OR for him to come in, I NEEDED him. And watching him hold our son hits me straight in the heart every time! I L.O.V.E. that man. And the next part is the obvious..the Lil Italian..that little boy completely owns me. I hold him and I can't imagine my world without him. When I leave him every day, I physically miss him. It's a pain like nothing else I've experienced. I know he's in great hands but if it were up to me, I'd be perfectly content living in the uncomfortable recliner they have in his room. I can't wait until he's home.
2. I loved being pregnant. Granted, I knowpeople say the last few weeks are the hardest and I got to miss that but I still loved being pregnant. Even when I was in my first trimester and throwing up all my internal organs, I loved being pregnant.
3. Family family family. Everyone likes to think they can count on their family but when sometimes comes up, are you sure you can? I know I can! The Lil Italian is in a hospital that's an hour away and every day my family (both mine and Vince's) call me every day to ask if they can give me a ride, to check on me, to check on him, and to see if there is anything they can do and they mean it. That's family and you need them.
Hm..I thought that was list was gonna be longer...But I guess I hit the most important parts.
Next up...breastfeeding!!! Today I talked about poop...why not talk about boobs tomorrow?!